“我祝你不幸并痛苦”,美最高法法官在儿子毕业典惊人发言

7月是毕业生的季节。

网络上除了有一大波青春靓丽的毕业照袭来，还有各类名人的励志演讲，听完让人热血沸腾。

而且，为了给即将告别象牙塔、步入社会的你以鼓励、指引，这些名人的演讲往往充满了正能量。




然而近日，美国最高法院的首席法官约翰·罗伯茨（John G. Roberts Jr）却在毕业典礼上煲了一锅“毒鸡汤”，喝下去不仅不会暖人肺腑，反而让人有些心惊胆战：我祝福你拥有痛苦和不幸......



但是这段话却在网络爆红，引得媒体和网友纷纷点赞，大呼过瘾！究竟怎么回事？


美国当地时间7月3日，《华盛顿邮报》放出了一个约翰·罗伯茨在卡迪根山中学（Cardigan Mountain School）的毕业演讲视频，迅速引发关注，《泰晤士报》等随后也进行了报道。


目前在YouTube上，这个视频的播放次数已达到143，137。


虽然演讲很毒舌，但网友们难得地给出了一致好评：



法官先生到底讲了什么，能如此迅速地圈粉主流媒体和各路网友？


打开视频，你会发现John对毕业生的祝福似乎充满了“负能量”：几乎满屏都是“坏运气、孤独、被忽视、背叛”等字眼......

演讲过程中也是绷着一张脸，极其严肃，这也许是他的工作性质使然。


国内的大家也许不熟悉，作为美国联邦最高法院第17任首席**官，同时也是美国两个世纪以来最年轻的首席**官，约翰·罗伯茨（John G. Roberts Jr）在美国自上任以来便一直享有很高的社会地位。

但是，Joon此次出席卡迪根山中学的毕业演讲，却不仅是作为成就斐然的首席法官，而是作为一个普通的父亲，参加自己16岁儿子杰克的毕业典礼。

在演讲一开始，他便要求在座的学生站起来，为自己的父母——那些辛勤付出的幕后支持者，鼓掌致谢。


“正是因为他们所做出的牺牲，才能将你们成功送到毕业这一个点上。因此，这场毕业典礼的主角不仅仅是你们，还有你们的父母。”


然后是常规的祝贺：2017级的学生们，你们已经度过了人生里程碑式的一站，祝贺你们！

就在气氛变得逐渐热烈时，他突然话锋一转，开启毒舌模式：然而我很遗憾的告诉你们，这算是你们人生最容易的时光了，虽然连这也已经成为了过去式。

台下一片寂然。

他觉得，历来的嘉宾们在毕业典礼上说都是大煲鸡汤，连说得话都一样：It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward. （这是新的开始，不是终结，勇敢地大步朝前吧！）

但John要求毕业生在向前进的时候，先往回看看。

看什么呢？看看在宿舍、课堂、运动场上支持和帮助过自己的同学、朋友们。

　　“没有他们的支持，你不会走到这一步。你可能还是初来学校时那个怯生生的孩子，而不是今天这副自信满满、坚定沉着的模样。”

他告诉毕业生，不要害怕回头看，因为回首时，你会发现有如此多的人在帮助你，你会发现这一路自己的成长惊人，这会给你更多自信，让你在面对未来时，有更强大的信念去战胜困难。

　　“因此，跌倒也没什么，爬起来；再跌倒，再爬起来就是。”

在接下来的演讲中，**官变得更加严肃、话语也越来越“毒舌”。

他说：通常演讲进行到这里，嘉宾们都会说一句“祝你们好运”，然后送上祝福。

　　“但我不会这样做，理由如下：

　　我希望你不时地被人不公正对待，因而你会知道公正的价值。

　　我希望你会遭受背叛，让你感受到忠诚的重要性。

　　我希望你时常有孤独感，让你不会把朋友看作理所当然的存在。

　　我希望你有时会倒霉，让你意识到运气的重要性，并且发现：你今日的成功并不完全实至名归，而他人的失败也并不完全是活该。

　　我希望你的对手对你冷嘲热讽，让你意识到有风度的竞争多么重要。

　　我希望你时不时被忽视，让你意识到倾听他人的重要性。

　　我希望你遭受刚刚好的痛苦，让你学会同理心。”

此言一出，惊呆了在座的各位学生家长，没人想到法官的“祝福”如此特别，却又如此现实。

John更犀利指出：自己这些祝福无论送不送，在今后的生活中都会发生，因为这就是生活。


毕业生能否在遭遇苦难时从中获益，就看能否参透这些祝福的后半句了。

在演讲末尾，John还谈到了毕业生该如何“做自己”。

人们给毕业生最常见的建议就是做自己，但是，做什么样的自己？怎么做？

他认为，如果此时的自己并不完美，那就不是该做自己，而是做改善。


他还引用了苏格拉底的名言：未经自省的人生无意义。来指出：毕业生应该时时思考想要成为什么样的人，过什么样的生活。

　　“对某些事情来说，‘just do it’（只管去做）是个不错的建议，但直到你确定自己想过什么样的生活之前，这个建议要慎用。”

最后，他为毕业生深情朗读了美国艺术家鲍勃·迪伦的《永远年轻》，以表达自己对毕业生，也是作为他家长本身，对自己孩子的深切期望：

　　“愿上帝庇佑，护你前路；愿你美梦均可成真；愿你与人为善，相互扶持；愿你建成通往群星的天梯，稳妥沿它而上；愿你永远年轻；愿你成为正直之人；愿你成就真实自我；愿你永远感知真理，看向身边无尽光明；愿你勇敢无惧，坚强可靠；愿你永远年轻,拥有纯洁之心；愿你双手永远忙碌，愿你脚步永远轻盈；在变故横生之时，愿你根基牢靠；愿你心中永远充满快乐，愿你的歌声永远嘹亮；愿你永远年轻。”

文末，附上约翰·罗伯茨在卡迪根山中学的演讲全文：


Thank you very much.


Rain, somebody said, is like confetti from heaven. So even the heavens are celebrating this morning, joining the rest of us at this wonderful commencement ceremony.


Before we go any further, graduates, you have an important task to perform because behind you are your parents and guardians. Two or three or four years ago, they drove into Cardigan, dropped you off, helped you get settled and then turned around and drove back out the gates. It was an extraordinary sacrifice for them. They drove down the trail of tears back to an emptier and lonelier house. They did that because the decision about your education, they knew, was about you. It was not about them. That sacrifice and others they made have brought you to this point. But this morning is not just about you. It is also about them, so I hope you will stand up and turn around and give them a great round of applause. Please.


Now when somebody asks me how the remarks at Cardigan went, I will be able to say they were interrupted by applause. Congratulations, class of 2017. You’ve reached an important milestone. An important stage of your life is behind you. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you it is the easiest stage of your life, but it is in the books. While you’ve been at Cardigan, you have all been a part of an important international community as well. And I think that needs to be particularly recognized.


[Roberts gave brief remarks in other languages.]


Now around the country today at colleges, high schools, middle schools, commencement speakers are standing before impatient graduates. And they are almost always saying the same things. They will say that today is a commencement exercise. ‘It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward.’ And I think that is true enough, however, I think if you’re going to look forward to figure out where you’re going, it’s good to know where you’ve been and to look back as well. And I think if you look back to your first afternoon here at Cardigan, perhaps you will recall that you were lonely. Perhaps you will recall that you were a little scared, a little anxious. And now look at you. You are surrounded by friends that you call brothers, and you are confident in facing the next step in your education.


It is worth trying to think why that is so. And when you do, I think you may appreciate that it was because of the support of your classmates in the classroom, on the athletic field and in the dorms. And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail. And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point.


Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted.I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion.


Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.


Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips. The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes. In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. People say ‘be yourself’ because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don't learn who are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it. The Greek philosopher Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ And while ‘just do it’ might be a good motto for some things, it’s not a good motto when it’s trying to figure out how to live your life that is before you. And one important clue to living a good life is to not to try to live the good life. The best way to lose the values that are central to who you are is frankly not to think about them at all. So that’s the deep advice.


Now some tips as you get ready to go to your new school. Other the last couple of years, I have gotten to know many of you young men pretty well, and I know you are good guys. But you are also privileged young men. And if you weren’t privileged when you came here, you are privileged now because you have been here. My advice is: Don’t act like it. When you get to your new school, walk up and introduce yourself to the person who is raking the leaves, shoveling the snow or emptying the trash. Learn their name and call them by their name during your time at the school.


Another piece of advice: When you pass by people you don’t recognize on the walks, smile, look them in the eye and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will become known as the young man who smiles and says hello, and that is not a bad thing to start with.You’ve been at a school with just boys. Most of you will be going to a school with girls. I have no advice for you. The last bit of advice I’ll give you is very simple, but I think it could make a big difference in your life. Once a week, you should write a note to someone. Not an email. A note on a piece of paper. It will take you exactly 10 minutes. Talk to an adult, let them tell you what a stamp is. You can put the stamp on the envelope. Again, 10 minutes, once a week. I will help you, right now. I will dictate to you the first note you should write. It will say, ‘Dear [fill in the name of a teacher at Cardigan Mountain School].’ Say: ‘I have started at this new school. We are reading [blank] in English. Football or soccer practice is hard, but I’m enjoying it. Thank you for teaching me.’ Put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. It will mean a great deal to people who — for reasons most of us cannot contemplate — have dedicated themselves to teaching middle school boys. As I said, that will take you exactly 10 minutes a week. By the end of the school year, you will have sent notes to 40 people. Forty people will feel a little more special because you did, and they will think you are very special because of what you did. No one else is going to carry that dividend during your time at school.


Enough advice. I would like to end by reading some important lyrics. I cited the Greek philosopher Socrates earlier. These lyrics are from the great American philosopher, Bob Dylan. They’re almost 50 years old. He wrote them for his son, Jesse, who he was missing while he was on tour. It lists the hopes that a parent might have for a son and for a daughter. They’re also good goals for a son and a daughter. The wishes are beautiful, they’re timeless. They’re universal. They’re good and true, except for one: It is the wish that gives the song its title and its refrain. That wish is a parent’s lament. It’s not a good wish. So these are the lyrics from Forever Young by Bob Dylan:


May God bless you and keep you always May your wishes all come true May you always do for others And let others do for you May you build a ladder to the stars And climb on every rung And may you stay forever young May you grow up to be righteous May you grow up to be true May you always know the truth And see the lights surrounding you May you always be courageous Stand upright and be strong And may you stay forever young May your hands always be busy May your feet always be swift May you have a strong foundation When the winds of changes shift May your heart always be joyful May your song always be sung And may you stay forever young.


Thank you.

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