There is a lot of competition for the best ones out there. Many don’t even advertise when they are recruiting. Even so, you will most likely get rejected without even being allowed to demonstrate your qualifications. In fact, most will not even respond to your offer. A few, however, would provide constructive criticism as to why they cannot accept you. There might even be secret discrimination based on factors such as race, disability, appearance, etc. but you will not likely be told this.

Once you encounter one that expresses interest in you, the recruiting phase is intense. They will first assess your resume. Most look highly on experience but occasionally, some are willing to train. When it comes to experience, having too much can, on occasion, deem you ‘overqualified’ and also lead to rejection. Having jumped around from various others over small periods of time generally portrays you as lacking commitment and a bad choice, unless they are looking for such vicarious candidates.

Also, it is easier if you are currently engaged elsewhere, because that means you are desirable but are looking for a step up. In fact, many would love to steal you from their competitors. But perhaps your moral conscience will prevent you from backstabbing them for a minute reward. If you are available, they feel that there must be something wrong with you. Yet, you can still market yourself as being available immediately without a messy transfer or the threat of returning back to your previous position if you are dissatisfied.

A post-secondary education is definitely an asset and a mandatory requirement for the best ones out there. It’s also nice if you can speak multiple languages and have other skills they are looking for. In the end of this process, many will run a complete background check and consult references. It is then best, I guess, to make sure you don’t fuck up with previous ones.

The next phase is the interview phase, where you must demonstrate your skills in a personal encounter. First impressions are everything and you must dress to impress. Unfortunately “being yourself” will probably get you rejected. You must show confidence in both speech and body language. This process makes many people nervous and fuck up. If you succeed in outdoing your competitors in this, you will get selected.

The ones that are the easiest to get will probably not treat you well. They will probably offer you little in terms of remuneration, and few—if any—benefits. You will most probably be unhappy with them and unfortunately, they won’t even provide the experience you need to appeal to the better ones out there.

It’s best to leave these, but unfortunately, it may be hard considering we would give up the little we get. Indeed, the grass is greener on the other side. You will unfortunately miss the little remuneration you had once you leave them although the frustration probably outweighs the benefits. Of course, our quality of life suffers without one but our social safety net can help a little with that.

As for the ones you really want, they are likely to reject you. They may tell you that they are not looking for anybody or straight-up tell you that you don’t qualify. Yet, they may offer you a position in the “friend zone” which is equivalent to a volunteer position. In this position, you get to be associated with them and fortunately are able to gain some experience, although it is not the same as what you were rooting for. Pretty much, you provide your services but are not rewarded for them according to your needs.

In fact, they will probably recruit somebody else, who you seem to find severely less qualified. Yet, he demonstrates more confidence than you and probably lied on his resume. The ones that are immoral enough to lie and cheat can usually work their way to the top like that. Sucks for you. You will probably want to be like them but perhaps your principles will keep you grounded. Regardless, that’s how the world works. He will also probably treat you like shit and show off the fact that he makes more than you.

He may even have a second source of income on the side, which makes things more unfair for you. Eventually, they will be dissatisfied with him and they will complain about him behind his back… to you. But they still will not replace him with you. They may keep giving him second chances but might eventually dismiss him. They will then replace him with somebody else… but still not you. Why? Think for a moment… you are already offering your services for free… why would they begin to repay you now?

But you may prove to them that you are worthy of a better position with them. That’s nice. Hopefully your self-respect is greater than that and luckily you have realized by now that they are not all that they’re cracked up to be. You most probably are just with them until you can find a better position elsewhere, with somebody else… who will better reward you for your efforts. Good.

Many may not be what you dream of, but something you may want to try… just for a day (or night) because you are curious to experience what they are like. Perhaps it’s because all of your friends have done it and you don’t want to be left out of the loop. You will especially not want to stick to the one(s) you have while you’re in school. It’s best you try many different ones while you’re young so you can get a better understanding of what you want.

Regardless, the one that you are serious about will require tremendous initial investment. I really hope you don’t fuck it up. A lot of them just want to exploit you so they can make more money. The right one will give you returns on the investments you made on your appearance, skill-building, and education as well as your search efforts and the miscellaneous expenses on your first impressions. You want a healthy balance where you both benefit each other.

Or perhaps you’re more sadistic and will try to take control wherever you end up. That’s a recipe for disaster as much as you may succeed. Perhaps you will want to juggle more than one. Some are fine with it because they are doing the same with you but others will want your undivided, and very flexible, time and energy. In this era of globalization, they will replace you quickly and easily if you ask for too much.

Unfortunately, most people on the planet don’t find the right one for them. They “settle” for what they get (or is assigned to them) and they are stuck with that. But we all have the dream (and I hope you have the drive) to push for the one that will satisfy you. Perhaps you’re not even that type… maybe you like change and you will constantly jump from one to the next until the day you die. In the end… don’t worry. Do whatever makes you happy. Just don’t get stuck somewhere you don’t want to be.

Um… what was I talking about again?